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I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...Oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn’t have long to wait.At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling not to bite through my bottom lip I tried to. There were no lights. Dark! Very dark! There was a path, sort of a path! Stumbling towards the back, Solange slipped on the grass… slipped and… EEIEEIEH! A curdling scream, dying in a throttling breath as Miranda dived into the mud with Solange. Solange grabbed Mira’s hand and, scuttling to the side, tried to get away… as the flashlight came on! Jimmy, the owner of the bar laughed ‘Gotcha!’ Taking their hands he lifted them and walked to the back of the house. Putting his hand on their ripe buttocks, he helped them up the stairs. ‘Open the door,’ he directed. Solange took the door handle and twisted it open. As she pulled the door, there was a godawful sound, a creeaakk followed by a blinding light shining on a skeleton hanging from the ceiling, blood dripping down it’s arms. INTERLUDE THREE yeah she laughed at him she did did thanks a lot but he knew he knew the party he did she there yeah she would be laughed at him she did with her friends she did my broken heart yeah thanks a.
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