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Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering Heaven. If anyone of you can ask me a question which I don’t know or cannot answer, then you’re worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you’ll come with me to Hell.” The philosopher then stepped up, “OK, give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates’ teachings.” With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct. “Then, go to Hell!” With another snap of his finger, the philosopher disappeared. The mathematician then asked, “Give me the most complicated formula ever theorized!” With a snap of his finger, another stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The mathematician read it and reluctantly agreed it was correct. “Then, go to Hell!” With another snap of his finger, the mathematician disappeared too. The idiot then stepped forward and said, “Bring me a chair!” The Devil brought forward a chair. “Drill 7 holes on the seat.” The Devil did just. " I nodded and then let the " gentleman" take me to the can. When I got back we settled down to business.Mr. Johnson asked, "Did you tell the police anything?" I only spoke to that detective that brought you in here." What did you tell him?" He wanted to talk about this morning. I said "three things: One, I want my parents, two, I'm hungry and thirsty, three, I need to use the bathroom." He said he'd let me eat and use the bathroom AFTER we talked. So I replied "Three things: one, I am a minor and you have no right to question me without my parents being here, two, denying me food and water is torture and that makes you an asshole," (My dad laughed) "three, if I shit myself my parents will sue the living fuck out of you." John! What have I told you about using the F word?"I threw my hands up shrugging, "Sorry, mom. I was irked. I sat in here for three hours before that detective came in."My mother's eyes glittered and she smiled. Oh, fuck she was getting pissed." They left you in here.
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