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Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. 2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. 3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. 4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right fore-finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten. 5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden. 6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously. 7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later. 8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to. I pull down my tank top trying unsuccessfully to cover my flat and toned tummy. These big fake tits never let my shirts fall down as far as they need to go. I try hiking up my shorts which is also hard to do with this big firm ass of mine and start walking up the path to the coaches front door with my heels clacking the whole way.I get to the front door and ring the bell, giving myself another quick once over looking at my reflection in the glass door. I hear some footsteps by the front door, see a shadow through the peephole but then there’s a long pause before I hear the door start to open. Was he staring at me through the peephole? The door knob turns and then there he is. Oh my! This cocky twenty something year old has a great body. This young thing came to the door only wearing shorts. I mean, I can’t blame him, it is his house after all. I couldn’t help but let my eyes wander over his firm pecs, toned arms, chiseled abs then snapped back to reality trying to remember.
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