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She contemplated calling out from work but in the two years she had been there she had never called out, and she was not sure she wanted to be in her apartment all day anyway. Sally lingered in the shower a bit longer letting it heal the sore parts of her body and provide a much needed solace for her mind. She finished and dried off and put on some loose comfortable house clothes, and walked into the kitchen, made her coffee and toast. Setting it down on the table she went looking for her laptop, Mike had kept it from her this weekend but when she went in her room, there it was on her dresser. She brought it back to the table with her and set it down. As she went to sit down her eye noticed something in the window sill that made her look up, then her whole body went stiff, it was a blue carnation in a vase on the windowsill with a note attached. It seemed as if he was here in the room and not just a symbol of him. She felt off balance yet again, frightened. After a taking sometime. It had cost her her marriage and her relationship with her children. It had been a very high price to pay. I met her not long after she joined AA. I admired her courage. She blamed no one but herself and knew it was a sickness. She dealt with it.I had no such excuse for my behavior. I was selfish. It all boiled down to that. It was always about what I wanted. I had been blind to it just as Ginny had been blind to her alcoholism. Howard's harsh words had jolted me and forced me to admit to my self-centered behavior. But I could change. I knew I could change. It wouldn't even be hard. I'd just have to be more thoughtful of others. I could do that. I would do that.When we finished the dishes, we walked to the living room and sat where we had sat on Wednesday evening. It was my turn. How to begin? I took a deep breath."Howard ... I want first to apologize. I want to apologize for hurting you and for being so stupid as to think you would accept my ... intended behavior. I don't know what.
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