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So I had really done it. What was wrong with me? I had a good job, a good life, and although I wasn't dating anyone currently, a fairly active and satisfying sex life. What's making me take these risks for an orgasm, I asked myself, when all I have to do is go out with one of the many good looking guys at work or at the gym who are clearly interested in me. I had never in the past wanted to flash myself or expose myself to anyone. I had never been an exhibitionist and never craved the audience. Why did I take the risk then?That's when it hit me. The epiphany. It wasn't just about getting off. And it wasn't at all about exposing my naked body to an audience. I didn't want that. In fact I wanted to avoid that. It was about the risk of being seen and the rush arising from it, especially from not wanting to be seen. Just like bungee jumping or sky diving isn't about hitting the ground at tremendous speed, but precisely about getting the rush from the risk of hitting the ground.And I had. When we got home, he helped me out of the car, and escorted me to thedoor. As I fished in my purse for my keys, he asked, "You want to playracquetball tomorrow?" Huh?" I replied as I pulled them out."You know, hitting balls off walls with a racquet?" he replied, as iftalking to an alien. "I need a partner for doubles." Well, maybe, what time? I need to ask Rebecca." Uh, we have a court at two, my new club. You haven't been there yet."I nodded as we entered the house. I could hear the TV going in the den."Well, she's still up, let's ask her," I said as I turned and started totake my coat off."Here, let me get that," he said, lifting if off my shoulders and thenreaching into our closet to put it on a hanger. I loved having thatdone for me. Then he took my arm and escorted me into the den."Rebecca, we're home," I shouted, to alert her."Sara," she squealed as she jumped up off the couch to greet us. "Howdid it go? Oh, hi, Phil.You're here too?" Philip wants to play racquetball.
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