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The acceptance she gave me was surprising and very amazing to me. After I told her we would often go shopping for clothes and make-up. When we graduated from collage we married and like any other professional couple bought a home in the burbs. With my wife's constant help I perfected my female look to the level that I could go out dressed and fool most people in public. My wife talked me in to joining a support group for TV's that was set up like a collage sorority. The sorority was set up for only heterosexual TV's and frowned on gay and Bisexual TV's. As I spent more time in the sorority I learned also that they promoted more conservative dress. I wore a short skirt to one of the early meetings I attended and the president of the club pulled me to the side and explained to me that sexual dress was not accepted at meetings. After that I toned down my dressing and would often look more like a woman at work or your typical housewife at the PTO meeting. As the years went by I. I doubt my answers, hoping they are what he is looking for when I used to just know. Just last night he said, “You’re too emotional, relax slut” but those words alone were enough to send a fresh stream of tears down my cheeks. He knows me, inside and out, through and through, as if no time has passed between us and I ache to belong to him again. In my heart, I know that I never stopped belonging to him … that even in his absence, he was here with me. But I still long to proudly wear his steel again, to have that something that I can reach up and grab a hold of and be reminded in some small, self-absorbed way of being able to physically be reassured that I am, indeed, his. I think of the things he has noticed and pointed out to me already, small changes that I hadn’t really noticed myself but once pointed out, embarrassed because it was true. Speaking first person comes to mind quickly because even writing in this forum, I speak it but now, because he pointed it out to me, I am more.
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