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The phone call? Oh, yes the phone call! During the first two months of this guardianship the office rang me no less than once a day. If I negotiated through the problem in the morning often there was another phone call early in the afternoon. The average was about eight a week as I have discovered that I'm not a bad phone negotiator. I used to double park in the tiny teachers car park and stroll into the office foyer and check out Tommy's office to see if it was empty. If it were I sat in one of his visitor's chairs, if not I'd plunk myself into the chair in the foyer. I'd smile and greet Helen, Rita or Mary through the office's sliding window, discussing the weather, their kids (or grandkids in Rita's case) the school formal or the upcoming school concert they were all dreading or whatever. Helen, Rita and Mary were the receptionists in the office the other four ladies were clerks only, though I knew they understood my circumstance.The problems were many and varied as would be. ..damn commies.The Sound Effect DumpYou feel a noisy one coming on but relatives, friends or work mates are within earshot. So, you must employ some clever techniques to cover the disgusting sounds you are about to emit. Timing is of the essence. At the precise moment of release, try the following: 1. Flush the toilet 2. Drop loose change on the floor, 3. Sing the first two stanzas of your favorite opera.The Cling-On DumpYou've finished but there's one damn morsel that refuses to drop. You grip the seat with both hands and wriggle. You twist and pump but the little bastard just hands there, suspended, clinging like a canned peach between you and the water below. If only you had some scissors.......The Whole Roll DumpNo matter how much you wipe, it just isn't enough. You blow the whole roll and have to flush at least a dozen times. The whole episode is consumer waste. Eventually if your toilet paper runs into minimal supply anything will do, towels, wash clothes, carpet, walls,.
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