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I was at a party with my best friends, Savannah and Hailey. We were nowhere near my home town, some place 45 minutes north. We just wanted to party; get loose and wasted. And we were well on our way to that. After taking shot after shot after shot, my lusty eyes went to the corner of the room and I saw him taking to one of my guy friends. Jesus Christ he was hot. Hotter than Cole, by far. He was 5'11, with black hair cut into a messy faux hawk, chocolate brown eyes, and that sexy stubble. He had the sexiest bone structure, so sharp and defined. His lips looked softer than feathers. He was dressed in a denim colored button up collared shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and two buttons coming down to reveal his chest hair. He was also wearing skinny jeans and moccasins. I was wet just looking at him. Savannah looked at me and said, "So he's the one, eh?" I said nothing and stared. As I walked to the corner of the room to be introduced, I can already tell I've caught his. ” Like I give a fuck. Fuck off!My agent said the campaign would be great publicity. Big press, Ronnyboy! Keep my name out there. Boost TV ratings for “The Apartment.”Then all these stupid hicks, white trash, they’re everywhere, wearing “Make Apartments Great Again” hats.I’m like “what the fuck”, but I go with it ... Gonna rake in the dollars, millions and billions, believe me... I figure we’ll sell the shit out of the merchandise. Millions and billions. But as it goes on, no matter how many pills I pop, it gets boring. The Raleighs, saying the same dumb shit, again and again... All I want is to get back to my golf and chasing skirt. But the dumber the shit I say, the higher my licks go up! People actually licked for me. For me! Fucking reektards!Now I’m the fucking Proctologist! And it sucks. I mean, I guess it’s better than Peter Gazer Prince. That closet runner would turn America into an episode of the “Handmate’s Tale.”Just come out already, quit the charade, Mickey! We all know.
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