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" Oh my God! Remote control? Tell me about that. And what the dickens is 'the beaver'? You make me sad. I thought we were friends that could tell each other anything. I want hear about the ones you think would embarrass me. Do you miss her?" Yeah, I miss her. I know she's happier and better off where she is. And yeah, I really miss the great sex, but so it goes."Okay, the remote control is just what it sounds like, six inches of vibrating plastic that she could... hmm... insert. It could be turned on and off by a little wireless remote that looked like a remote entry for a car. We'd go out and I'd get to carry the switch. I just had to make sure she wasn't sitting in a wooden chair close to other people or you'd hear it."The beaver. You've really never heard of the beaver? She loved the beaver. The... hmm... insertable part was a little bigger than her others and full of beads. It would rotate in a corkscrew motion. At the base was a little beaver with a flexible tongue that was,. Remember when we first met? You invited me to watch porn films, not documentaries.”“If I’d invited you to watch documentaries about rape and castration you wouldn’t have been as keen, would you?”I shut my eyes and sighed.“What’s all this about, Mandy? Why did you choose me as your cinema audience? Who else is seeing these films? Is anybody buying them?”Her reply verged on flippancy.“We’re showing them to a select few who we believe will appreciate them: preliminary market research. If the results are encouraging, the films will be offered for private sale to connoisseurs, at high prices.”It sounded plausible. It also sounded like a lie. “What happened to Ginger?” I asked. “Janet? Did she recover?”I suspected Mandy didn’t know the details. She said Janet had required surgery to her pharynx, oesophagus and upper respiratory tract, so after a few months she’d been able to eat and drink more or less normally. Unfortunately, her vocal apparatus was permanently damaged. She couldn’t speak.
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