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I was determined to, but would I lose my nerve at the last moment. I made the long drive to his home, he lived about 45 minutes from my house, plenty of time to chicken out. But I didn't, as I approached his home I really got nervous. I pulled into his drive way and looked around I was worried someone might see me going into his home, even though I didn't know anyone in his neighborhood, it was sheer terror, was I coming out of the closet. How could I be, I still liked woman, I was straight, maybe, slightly bi. I knocked on the door and Jim answered, welcomed me in and I took a real good look at him, very good looking guy about 5foot ten to 6 feet tall about 200 pounds, short hair and did not act gay whatsoever, one of those guys you see in public maybe working out never dreaming that guy is gay at all. Of course he looked me over as well, I wasn't sure what he was thinking, I found out later I am just his type. I am built like a big football player 6 foot tall about 245 pounds solid. When I entered his room, I noticed the curtains where opened for the first time since Mom left and gasped a little as I saw Dad leaning against the window sill, staring outside. He looked so fragile and lost, I actually felt sorry for him. Mind you, I love my father with all my heart, but with how I was raised, it’s hard to show your affections and/or actually feel any sympathy towards your family. Sounds cold, but it’s the way it was as a kid. ‘Dad? You alright there?’ ‘Yeah, yeah. Get me some soup, will ya?’ ‘Mm.’ As I went to the kitchen and heated up the soup, I leaned against the counter and stared out the window again, thinking deeply for a moment and trying to decide how I was going to lead my life now that it’s only Dad and I. Do I still try to move out sooner or later? Will he need me forever? That didn’t sound too inviting. I mean, I can only handle waking up to his beautiful smile and positive attitude for so long. Pfft. The microwave beeped and I headed back to his room,.
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