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If you can give me a new reason for speeding -- a reason I've never before heard -- I'll let you go."The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back." Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper.GeorgiaThe owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia, and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."LouisianaA senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana..."When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana 'cause everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world."MississippiThe young man from Mississippi. "I have some special plans for our two little hellions."I got some dry clothes on and found another tree to lean against. It was maybe a half hour later when I saw M & M making their way back into the clearing we were camped in. I waited until they went over to talk to Sam and Delia, then I sneaked up behind them and grabbed both of them.They shrieked in unison, but I picked one of them up under each arm and carried them over to where Andy was sharpening his hunting knife. I held Mandy toward him and asked if he'd hold her for a minute for me. He nodded and took Mandy by the ankle.I carried Mindy over to the creek and threw her out toward the middle. Then I went back and got Mandy and did the same for her. Pay backs really are hell.Day 102 - Tuesday, August 10, 1847It's a good thing that our wagon is five feet wide instead of four feet like most of them. Even so, when I woke up, Sam and Delia were both half way on top of me. I can't say that I minded though. I laid there until.
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