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“My family?! You bastards! What did you do?”“You’re hardly in a position to complain, Harold!” A large, beefy man steps out from offstage and loudly cracks his knuckles.Harold, mollified, looks at the naked women and then back out at the audience and cameras. “But ... you want me to ... in front of everyone... ?”“That’s right, Harold! You know what the alternative is!” The beefy man smiles and then steps back offstage.Daunted, Harold moves to look carefully at the slimmest female’s body. This could be his sister Petra, maybe, he thinks, but her skin is too tanned. In fact, as he moves to the next one he notices that they are all similarly tanned. His family wears conservative clothing, so this all-over tan doesn’t make sense to him.“Harold’s gonna be a bit confused by the effect of the tanning chemicals applied by the fine folks at our partner site Tanscam(tm), “ the announcer secretly explains to the audience. “Harold’s been holed up here in the studio with no communication with. It was during the response that Jim received his first warning from his heart, and I exploited it to force him onto my jet and into the cardiac unit at Johns Hopkins. The heart specialists quickly diagnosed and treated his faulty heart valve, heading off a later, major crisis. Millie wouldn't become a fifty-six year old widow, as long as Jim used his head and followed doctor's orders.Things were turning out so much differently than the last time, and other than the aches and pains that come with being forty-four, life was good. God and the universe were less outraged at me this time, and I found my way without the fear, pain, and heartache of the other two tries.The day came to go find Benjamin, and I flew off alone to find my buddy. He was right where we found him the last time, but I was two days early, saving him from the severe hunger and dehydration trauma. I found him waiting patiently alongside the road, where I picked him up the last time. He clearly expected his owner to.
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