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No, it was more the domination and submission, the willing exchange of power in femdom that entranced me. But even here, so many if not most of such interactions as presented on the net appeared to involve the purposeful humiliation of the one submitting. Again, I could at times become excited by this in the abstract, but I strongly doubted that I would much enjoy it for long in reality. Affection and esteem may never be in the equation, but I didn’t believe that I could ever survive long in any such interaction without being offered at least some degree of respect. What was I looking for and how could I find it? So much of it engaged my mind and my groin, but nothing I had found had yet sung to my psyche or to my soul. Still, it was becoming readily apparent to me that I couldn’t go on much longer like this. My lack of any personal life was starting to affect my professional one. There I was liked, respected, and to some even possibly somewhat esteemed. I was. ’ He gave no indication that he had any intention of releasing Melanie from his arms, a place he obviously though she fit in very nicely. I no longer considered her my girlfriend but didn’t like his damn Italian attitude, one damn bit. ‘That’s the whole point, isn’t it?’ I asked him. ‘There are rules to such things…’ he said, still slowly dancing with her. ‘There are no rules… now, go sit down,’ I said, quietly, hatred flashing in my eyes. If we were in an alley, he already would be down, looking for his teeth. He finally gave in after digesting this information. The smile he gave was waxen and he withdrew. She slipped easily into my arms and with a contented sigh, rested her head on my chest. Was it my imagination or was her heart beating rapidly? harder? ‘Well, that went well,’ she whispered. I folded my hand around hers. I could swear I felt her smiling against my chest. At least one of us was amused. I wondered what the penalty for voluntary manslaughter was. It took me a moment.
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