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A young customs official watched the large entourage in disbelief, “Ma’am,” he said, “do all these children and this luggage belong to you?”“Yes, sir,” the lady said with a sigh, “they’re all mine.”The customs agent began his interrogation “Ma’am, do you have any weapons, contraband or drugs in your possession?”“Sir,” she calmly answered, “if I’d had any of those items, I would have used them by now.”My wife asked me why I don’t play golf with Patrick anymore. So I asked her “Would you continue to play with a guy who always gets drunk, loses so many balls other groups are always playing through, tells lousy jokes while you are trying to putt, and generally offends everyone around him on the course?”“Certainly not, dear” she replied.“Well, neither would he.”Once, a gay man went to heaven. At the Great Gate, Saint Peter was waiting for him. After reviewing his records Saint Pete decided to let him in. “Follow me” he said, opening the gate and walking in.After some walk, Saint Pete’s. I loved sex. I liked dating different girls. I enjoyed the freedom that my life gave me. And quite honestly, I really did not want restrictions. I especially did not want to wind up with someone who turned out lame, boring, uneventful, and who stopped wanting to have sex.Unfortunately, that's just what I did.When I married my wife, she had a daughter, Shannon, who was almost six years old. My step-daughter was a great kid. Friendly, outgoing, blunt, not afraid to speak her mind, and always funny. And then, two years later, my daughter Amanda came along. Things at home were great for the longest time. My wife and I got along well, we never had a fight, never disagreed on things, and always seemed to make it work.What I did notice however, was about two years after my daughter was born, sex, that had been happening four to five times a week, had dropped off to (if I was lucky) once a week. And then it turned out it wasn't happening more than a couple times a month.I first suspected she.
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