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They say a woman looks a lotmore beautiful and tender after she's borne a child. I saw myself verydifferent in the mirror, and for the first time I had a feeling of mellow,but profound realization. With fat accumulating under my chin and on myface, I didn't need to worry anymore about my jawline being a little toosquare. I'm still planning, one day, on undergoing facial feminizationsurgery (FFS), so I can die a woman in every single part of my body that asurgeon's knife can shape, but for the time being I'm more than happy withmy likeness. My whole skin was supple, and had a motherly glow to it. Mybelly now looked as if I would be forever pregnant with my man's love.When I walked, I could feel my buttocks wiggle up and down, and sideways.I walked like a woman, sat like a woman, peed like a woman, gesticulatedlike a woman. Mustapha was particularly fond of my bottom, and I couldalmost feel his looks on it, his dark, piercing eyes caressing my buttcheeks. Deep down, I knew those looks. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.'The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.He paused for a moment and then started to leave.The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!'The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'Lemon SqueezeThere once was a religious young woman who went toConfession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.'The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.'The priest thought long and hard and then said,'Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.' The young woman asked, 'Will this cleanse me of my sins?'The priest said, 'No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.'Catholic DogMuldoon.
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