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"This one is compliments of Paul D.Send the old men to warI am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ba ... ckwards.Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every ten seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' Were bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some ****hole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while...An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so. ’ ‘OK, this is between us two, and nobody else. Understand?’ ‘Sure. What’s up, Daddy?’ ‘I suggested she open a B&B and use is for a counselling center, and she was ecstatic about the idea. She even managed to sell the idea to her dad. This is the part you are not to talk about. She and I went down to talk with Johnnie Walker, and we signed a contract. I’m going to put her through two years of culinary arts and fund a B&B for her, fifty/fifty. I’m going to let her live here at the house during that time. Do you have any problems with the idea?’ Kat sat and thought for a minute or two before giving me a big smile. ‘I think it’s a great idea, Daddy. If Greta or Margarite say anything I’ll tell them to leave you alone. You know their first reaction will be that she’s a gold-digger, but I’ll work on that. I know Jenny will understand, and I’ll tell her, so you don’t have to worry about her.’ I sighed with relief. My daughters tend to be overprotective of me at times. ‘Thanks, Kat. Knowing.
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