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How had she guessed? Had someone written "Slut" across my forehead? "I think you enjoy playing the slut; enjoy being dominated by men." I smiled in response. "But I think you enjoyed that too. I suspect that you just don't have as many opportunities to dominate your sexual partners." I shrugged and nodded. "I don't think you hold anything in particular against Nigel, do you?" she asked. "No, I don't think so." "So why did you want to see him punished?" "Curiosity, I suppose." "Just that?" I nodded. "So, for the sake of your curiosity, you were willing to let Nigel be punished. Without knowing how severe that punishment might be--how much it might hurt?" I felt a little uncomfortable. When she put it like that... She still appeared to anticipate my feelings. "There's nothing to be ashamed of. This is just the nature of the relationship between men and women. And as it happens, when he looks back on it, Nigel will probably feel like he enjoyed his punishment. he may even feel guilty. The word penis conjured up the idea of sexual 'inferiority'; MY sexual inferiority. After all, my wife had divorced over that very fact, hadn't she? Yes, she had.Rather than feel angry over my apparent sexual inadequacy, and small cock, I felt something that can best be described as a curious sort of exhilaration; that came only after I'd begun to admit to this growing sense of my sexual inadequacy! As such, I suddenly enjoyed masturbating (and watching interracial porn) with a greatly increased sense of pleasure that is difficult to explain.In a fairly short amount of time, I was becoming increasingly settled to the idea that I may never again have successful access to women; and not because I didn't think I wasn't outwardly good looking enough, but because I wasn't sure I wanted to! I loved my sessions of porn and masturbation so much, that I doubted that I'd meet another woman I'd really want to try and fuck.It was just so much easier, and way less fraught with 'performance.
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