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Paper rounds aren't that lucrative.With a shaking hand I pop the cap off the plastic bottle. The finality of the noise releases a sudden flash of all the things I'll be leaving behind. Classmates. A good report card. Miss Kavanagh's smile. Blinky the fish.Shit.Blinky.I scrabble for my phone and open messenger. I want to type "Please feed Blinky and look after him" to my dad but my fingers won't cooperate. Predictive text struggles, then gives up trying to interpret my incoherent will, leaving a random stream of characters on the display.Staring at the screen, I realise it's not a good idea anyway, even if I could get the words out. What if I get the message wrong and he worries and alerts someone and they triangulate my phone and swoop in the nick of time before I'm dead? Can they even do that, like they do on CSI?I let the phone slip, tumbling to the clean bed sheets. Return my focus to the pills. Lift the bottle. The taunts echo around my head, from people I once called friends.. Lily said, "Julia say very important." I thought you'd be on time. Julia and I are both impressed by your attitude to what we're doing." I know you special man."#2: Whatever Pat had said, Lily responded to with, "That old thing!"I certainly didn't want to encourage their conversation (and I was damned sure I didn't want Lily to again think of me as being queer), but even I nearly laughed at Lily's last comment. I have to make a very embarrassing confession now. All year I'd noticed Lily's clothing. She wears clothes that are consistently and considerably better quality than those of other girls. Not in the sense that a 15-year old boy would judge "better" (I told you this was embarrassing), but better in that they were obviously far better made, with much more effort and quality than every other girl wore. I'd several times overheard her respond to another girls' compliments by saying that she gets them from Hong Kong. She almost never repeats an outfit, so I shudder to think how.
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