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' Did I? God how long was I going to be able to keep this voice up. 'So where's back home?''Somerset.' Well that was the area I was loosely basing my accent upon.'How about that!' Another voice joined in from my left shoulder. This was Gary, every woman's saviour, or so he said. 'My brother's moved to Somerset. Whereabouts do you live?'God, every time I answered a question I got more thrown at me. Time to react like I'm in control of the conversation. 'Well, it's only a small village. If I told you its name, you'd as good as know my address, wouldn't you?''So what are you doing in this part of the world?' Nick With The Big Dick changed the topic from the geography of Somerset. It would need more improvisation, but at least my voice was becoming easier with practice.'I'm staying with a friend.' I decided to add a little embellishment. 'Rick Nettles. He told me I'd like the Cock Inn.'He smiled at my innuendo. We were getting on great. 'Oh, you're a friend of Rick, are you?' If anyone. “You must inform me,” I suggested.“Surely,” she spat, “If you insist. It’s 1754.20 a month paid out twice a month.”“Eight hundred seventy seven dollars and ten cents every two weeks?”“Quick with your figures, I see.”She was getting madder by the second. She spun, I ducked. She laughed. “Nervous?” she asked.“God deliver me from righteous females,” I muttered. “I plan on adding it to her interest bearing Trust account every month.”“Oh ... surely you jest. You’ll be like all the other freeloaders ... beer and smokes and loose women.”I don’t know how she managed but she didn’t strike me. I could see it in her eyes.Almost immediately after we arrived home, the New South Wales Child Protection Council representative came calling.“As our right we must inspect your arrangements for the care of Orphan Girl. Please step away from the door.”I did.“And where would the child be at this moment?”“I assume she is with her nanny.”“You assume? You mean you don’t know?”“Excuse me a moment,” I said.I.
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