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I got to thinking aboutwhat happened with my dad and realized it would be pretty selfish of meto kill myself and leave my body for my mom to find after she's alreadylost him. Its getting close to Christmas and the lights look pretty and even thesnow somehow looks better.I don't know if I'm any better, but I'm goingto try and survive.*****Merry Christmas, Diary!It was actually a nice Christmas. John is just glowing with his new-found faith. I'm still struggling with mine, but I'm happy for him. Asfor my gender stuff, well I have a confession. I've been crossdressing,"borrowing" my mom's stuff. I don't know how to describe how I feeldressed, there are so many different things going on. There's the guilt,of course. That's to be expected. But there is this brief moment ofrelief, like I put down something super heavy I hadn't even realized Iwas carrying. I feel light, and free and ... So what do I do about that?*****Well, its the last day of the year, so I'll say goodbye, diary,. She’d packed some of my favourite lingerie and was wearing a matching bra, suspenders and thong combination. All thoughts of the room next door left my head as I watched her slip into a simple but elegant sheer black dress. Her hair was up accentuating her slim neck and the diamond drop earrings I’d bought her for Christmas. I slipped my jacket on and we headed down to the bar.There were a few other couples in the bar having pre dinner aperitifs. It’s no exaggeration to say that every head turned as we walked in. Every man in the room wishing they were me and every woman wishing they had Ann’s figure. We sat at a small table near the corner of the room and ordered some drinks.The evening dinner was excellent and Ann was sparkling. By the end of the meal she was also a little but drunk. Not loud, just giggly and very sexy. As we left the restaurant to go back to our room I saw the Jacuzzi couple just eating their starter course. She was wearing what looked to be a short red skirt and.
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