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We sailed between the lighthouses and motored into Pere Marquette Lake and reported o the Guard station. The helicopter hovered outside the entrance until we were ‘secured’ ... tied up to the Guard seawall. Then the ‘chopper landed.“Why did you wait?” I asked.“Didn’t want you running off,” The pilot said. The pilot was a spiffy Lieutenant with wings on his uniform.“What?”“If you’d run off I’d get some target practice ... and as much as I like the practice ... that’s a pretty boat”There was a look in his eye that said, I’m not kidding.“Okay ... time to get nasty. Let’s go find what’s what and where the cow ate the cabbage.” Then the rat SALUTED the FLAG and said, “Permission to come aboard?”And I said, “No.”“So ... you want me to confiscate the boat? If I do ... you won’t get her back.” Then he said, “You could call this an official inspection.”And Junior rolled her eyes and said, “Mom’s Law.” And quoted paragraph and article.The Lieutenant looked at Junior.“I’m not just another pretty. When he was introduced to me, he was in the middle of complaining about being in the hospital when he would rather be at home playing a game on his Playstation. Amy was explaining to him that after what he did in the kitchen the other day he was not going to be home alone for a while."Aw mom, I was just trying to get something to eat while you were out sleeping with this old fart over here."I don't think that he realized what happened as I lifted him up onto his tiptoes by the collar of his shirt with one hand while I had hold of the flab at his waist with the other. "You will treat your mother with respect young man, it does not matter what your opinion is, you WILL treat her with respect (as I said this I was pinching the flab I had in my hand as emphasis with every other word). She has spent years seeing to your needs and she asks for very little in return. Understand this if you understand nothing else, I will burn your backside with a two-by-four if I hear of you talking to her.
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