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I was ready to go change right then, hurt by herlaughing, but mom stopped me."I'm not laughing at you honey, I'm laughing because it's about time youdid something about your dressing up, other than just stay in your room!We both know that you've been playing dress up for a long time, so don'ttry to deny it, and besides, it looks like Janet has turned you into avery pretty girl, and I see no reason that you can't continue to let herhelp you be the girl we both know you've always seemed to want to be, orat the very least, try to be!"Denial was obviously out of the question, which left me no place to turnfor relief. My ego has suffered a huge blow when mom did nothing to putan end to the farce of Janet making me into a girl. No yelling, no snideremarks, no gasping when she saw me dressed up like that, nothing! Giventhe way I looked, mom's apparent consent, if that's what you want tocall it, Janet's obvious glee, and my own desires to look as much like agirl as possible, I was sunk. I. I felt like it had suddenly reached out and slugged me.It had happened. I was stuck. I'd spend the rest of my life as a woman.Oh, I'd try my damndest to get it to work again. But I already knewwhat would happen. Nothing. Call it a gut feeling. Hell, call itwoman's intuition. This was all she wrote. Emphasis on "she."The sword of Damocles had fallen. In one fell swoop I'd losteverything. My future. My manhood. My family. My life. I was nothingnow. A woman. Even if I survived, I'd never be anything more than apussy. A second class citizen, something for men to chase after andconquer, nothing but a piece of tail, a broad, a chick, a cunt, and allthe other charming names I'd heard in my life for the weaker sex.Just going out with *another* woman would be considered a perversion.'Lesbian,' people would whisper behind my back. She probably wishes shehad a penis, they'd think. And they'd be right.Even if I could get my family to believe I was who I said I was, Icould imagine what my Dad.
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