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Congrats!" Bennie answered."Tira mah!" the kid answered and left.Bennie returned his attention to the matter scanner. A sign read simply, "$5 to use the matter scanner." Oh, what the hell," Bennie muttered, and slid a $20 bill into a slot in the scanner. The machine dutifully spat out 15 Sacagawea dollar coins in change. Upon stepping inside, the curved glass door slid closed, a bright purple light flashed, and then the door opened again.When the spots cleared from his eyes, the door opened. "What the hell?" Bennie said.A tall, beautiful woman with short auburn hair was holding the glass door open for him. "Hello," she said."Hi!" Bennie answered back as he stepped out of the scanner into the aisle of the store. She was wearing a white low-cut top, bare midriff, and long white skirt. He looked around slowly as it dawned on him that this wasn't the Copy Max in New Brunswick. "Where the hell am I?" You're in San Diego," she said."California? How'd I get to California? And who are. Lie ... with me.... Eat pie ... with me.... But don't leave..."Not quite the way Sheryl Crow wrote it. I pulled the covers aside and got to my feet. I don't want to sound like a whiner. Today was Cindy's birthday, and she was entitled to sing all she wanted.The door to the bathroom was open just a crack, and tendrils of steam were drifting lazily out into the bedroom. I eased the door open a few more inches. As usual, she had left the fan off and the bathroom was wall-to-wall fog." ... Are you strong enough to be my man?"I could only occasionally make out Cindy's ghostly form moving around behind the glass doors of our oversized shower stall. Feeling like an actor in a bad action movie, I waited until I thought her back was turned and then slipped though the door and pressed against the wall, breathing in the thick, sweet smell of shampoo and conditioner." ... Are you strong enough to be my man? ... Are you long enough to be my man?"This latest was followed by a cackle of delight.I.
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