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She nodded her head, saying yes she has. “Hmmm,” I added as I smiled at her. “Personally I’d find it ver-r-r-y interesting. I would,” I told her. “Is there someone you know of you want to do that with I assume?” She nodded her head and wore this look on her face. To me, it looked as if she felt extremely embarrassed about. “Whoa, don’t be embarrassed about that! Two girls uhhh kissing and kind of doing a sexual like thing to me is well…its kinky as hell. I do like it Erin. I do. If you want to do that then go ahead and do it. But let me say this…I’d love to watch you have fun doing it. I mean I know I’d have fun doing that Erin. Heck, anything you’d do uhhh sexually, to me sounds really fun and umm really arousing? It would all be a huge turn on to me!” What I just said turned her on in a big, big way. I’m sure, from the look on her face, she could not hold the “excitement” running through her veins. I was excited too. I wanted to jump her bones, right then and there, and I was ready. At least if you see me, there's a terrific upside. Some things are worth it. The reality of how I could make you feel: Worth it. The memories of what we've shared. Worth it. The adventure. Worth it."I did not tell her that for me, the tryst would renew my strength to stay in my outwardly perfect marriage that was otherwise killing me ... slowly sucking the passion and energy from my soul due to my wife's emotional and physical disinterest. Being with Madison took on extra urgency as I realized she could be so deeply important to me at a level she couldn't possibly understand.Madison resisted and resisted until she didn't. Dozens of e-mails tracked the moral battle. Either of us could have walked away. Neither did.We'd agreed to meet at a wine bar for dinner. I got there a bit early and ordered a Riesling. Then a second. I'd positioned myself in the very back of the restaurant, faced so I could see the door. Madison arrived. She was prettier than her photos, and I hadn't realized how.
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