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"If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age," an official said.Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage, buying up all the Barbara Streisand c.d.'s, and renting all the Michael Moore movies. "I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?"These are from a reader ... enjoy:A shoe repair shop: We will heel you We will save your sole We will even dye for you.A sign over a Gynecologists' office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix.";In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels.";On a Septic Tank Truck: Yesterday's Meals on Wheels;At an Optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.";On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed.";On another Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a. I repeated myself but she still didn't budge. I raised my hands and placed them on Mom's hips. Immediately, she faced the piano and began to play. I moved my hands up and down her waist, enjoying the swell of flesh out to her hips and pushing further around to splay my fingers across her tummy. I could feel the large indent that formed Mom's navel and wished I could lay my bare hands on it, imagining teeny blond hairs, though Mom was a brunette, running from there over her soft belly until they thickened into the brown bush covering her pussy. I knew her pussy hair was brown because I'd seen it poking out the leg of her panties. Mom continued playing as if that was all we were doing, playing the piano, despite the extent of my roaming hands. It was some time before I moved my hands up to cup Mom's breasts and received a small shock. Her breasts were much softer and I could feel their shape better than before. Mom was not wearing a bra!I could only see the side of Mom's face but it.
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