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#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.#2 In the 60’s, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.Please share this wisdom with others while I go to the bathroom.This is compliments of PepereOld one, but still good for a laugh.ALTAR BOY’S CONFESSION ‘Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.’The priest asks, ‘Is that you, little Dominic Savino?’‘Yes, Father, it is.’‘And who was the girl you were. When she left, I couldn't help but take a peek at Laura's boobs. They were nice and round, and I could've sworn that her nipples were starting to get harder and harder by the minute. That's when I noticed that she noticed that I was checking her boobs out."Sorry. I was just---" I said in an embarrassed way."That's okay." Laura said.Laura was only wearing flip-flops, blue shorts, and a white T-shirt with a black bra underneath it. She started to walk around me. "So, Bobby. Do you have any girlfriends now?" No. I broke up a couple of months ago," I said in an uneasy tone. Man, did I want to fuck her silly."Sorry about that. Is it me, or is it starting to feel a bit warm in here?" she asked in a seductive way. By the way she was talking, I certainly knew where this conversation was heading to. Laura took off her flip-flops and her white T-shirt. She now only had her blue shorts and her black bra on. I could resist. I just had to look at her amazing boobs."Wow," I whispered."What?" she.
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