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She said she wasconsidering signing up."Why not?" she said. "I feel like one now. My boyfriend doesn't have adick. He just eats me. I can have that with a woman golfer."She looked at me and shook her head."Nicki, what's the difference between a boy and a girl?" she asked."Huh?" The difference in a boy and a girl. What does a boy puppy have that agirl puppy doesn't? Or a boy duck? Or a boy gerbil?" They have a penis?" Exactly. They have a penis. Now, Nicky, do you have a penis?" Not really," I mumbled."It's in the phantom zone," she said. "That's funny, girlfriend. Butyou're a girl now. You may never get free. I'd adjust if I were you.You'll learn to love dick. Trust me."Later that day, she said she had lost a key. She made a fuss lookingfrantically for it, scaring me to death. But she had it all along. Shewas, well, yanking my chain.A little later, she unnerved me again."So what happens if I get hit by a truck?" she asked. "How do you get itoff?" A doctor, I guess," I said. "Maybe a. When I askedwhat was wrong, he said nothing. I knew that he attended one marriageceremony (one of his friend who is hardly two years junior to him)yesterday night. I had suspected that something was going on.I didn't want to leave Dad all alone - he had taken it real hard whenMom died. They had been married for over 19 years when she died. Ihad hoped Christmas would cheer things up, but it turned into areal 'downer' for us both. Dad's only 36 ( He got married at the ageof 17 only & then my mother was only 15 years old) and a nice lookingguy. He's about 5'11" and 153 lbs. or so, in good shape. I told himto get a date - go out and celebrate New Years - live it up a little.He was single again.On New Year's eve I bought a large bottles of whiskey . I wasdetermined to liven things up. I never drink, even wine, so I didn'trealize how much whiskey I had purchased for just two people. Thatevening after a late dinner, I went upstairs and showered. I guesssubconsciously I may have wanted to.
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