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What you can do is cut out all fatty and spicy food. Get rid of alcohol, cigarettes, coffee, tea, and any other drugs. take walks every day, but make sure you don’t exercise too hard.”The man says, “Will that give me longer to live?”The doc replies, “No, but it’ll certainly seem longer.”“My missus dumped me ‘cos she says I’m too obsessed with football,” said the first fella.“How long have you been with her?” asked the second fella.“Six seasons.”A young Scotsman leaves home and moves to New York. After six months his mom calls him and she asks how he finds the Americans. “Horrible,” he says. “They’re always yelling and screaming. I hate how they constantly pound on the walls and stomp the floors.”“How do you get by?” she asks.“I just relax in bed, playing me bagpipes,” says the Scot.A man is on trial for cannibalism. He proclaims to the judge, “Well, your honor, if you truly are what you eat, then I am an innocent man.”I rang work and said, “I can’t come in today, I have a wee. .the let me loose and made me bend over a table with my ass in the air , I was tied to the table with my legs open ready for anyone to take my holes ….. the highest bidder gets to fuck her old fat pussy first she said, someone said $10 ..the next $15 and so it went on ..she reminded everyone that I still had two other holes to fuck so they should not use up all the money on my fat cunt….. the last bid was $22 …sold she said, her cunt is all yours…… I felt someone move in behind me and rub there cock up and down on my pussy to lube it up , the cock slipped in to me with no problem at all he started to stroke it in and out of my cunt until he shot his load deep in me, as he pulled his cock out of me, he slapped my ass saying thanks bitch the next one took his place in my wet cunt ….he also deposited his load in my cunt, I was fucked 5 times and was rewarded with 5 big loads of cum ……..as the last one pulled out of me my daughter said now we will bid on her fat ass hole and mouth,.
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