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Phœbe lay down by me, and asked me archly, “if, now that I had seen the enemy, and fully considered him, I was still afraid of him? or did I think I could come to a close engagement with him?” To all which, not a word on my side; I sighed, and could scarcely breathe. She takes hold of my hand, and having rolled up her own petticoats, forced it half strivingly, towards those parts, where, now grown more knowing, I missed the main object of my wishes; and finding not even the shadow of what I wanted, where every thing was so fiat, or so hollow, in the vexation I was in at it. I should have withdrawn my hand, but for fear of disobliging her. Abandoning it then entirely to her management, she made use of it as she thought proper, to procure herself rather the shadow than the substance of any pleasure. For my part, I now pined for more solid food, and promised tacitly to myself that I would not be put off much longer with this foolery of woman to woman, of Mrs. Brown did not soon provide. The Bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never served a weasel before. What can I get you?”“Pop,” goes the weasel.Many thanks to J & B for the following.Politically Correct Christmas MusicI saw that some radio stations are refusing to play “Baby It’s Cold Outside,” because a handful of hysterical people have lost their minds.Why stop there? Here are some other holiday classics that should also definitely be banned...I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus: condones cheatingThe Christmas Song: Open fire? Pollution. Folks dressed up like Eskimos? Cultural appropriationHolly Jolly Christmas: Kiss her once for me? Unwanted advancesWhite Christmas? RacistSanta Claus is Coming to Town: Sees you when you’re sleeping? Knows when you’re awake? Peeping Tom stalkerMost Wonderful Time of the Year: Everyone telling you be of good cheer? Forced to hide depressionRudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: BullyingIt’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas: Forced gender-specific gifts: dolls for Janice and Jen and boots and.
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