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The pretexts were quite ludicrous, but for some reason I was seen as quite the catch, an unmarried titled gentleman with a country estate, town house, his own hair and teeth and quite able to walk unaided being it seemed quite an extraordinary rarity.I used my usual charm and wit, “Lady Charringfold what a delight!” I simpered, “How kind of you to drag yourself away from your gardeners potting shed and indeed his prong and grace us with your presence.”“I thought you should meet my daughter Sabrina,” she said ignoring my barbs.“Ah, bit flat chested for me,” I admitted, “And plain, like the Mona Lisa with the beak of a Toucan.”“Oh Lord Mannington what a whit you are,” she laughed while supressing the urge to strike me down.“Oh well Sabrina, down to business,” I joked, “Do you give head, do you do anal, do you charge by the hour or.”“Mama this is quite intolerable,” she replied, “I should rather enter a monastery than marry such a brute.”I laughed, ugly and stupid. “What with all. "Clifton stood up and got the female clerks attention. She brought out the two boxes and allowed Clifton to search around for extra large sizes. He paid the woman and we left. We got in his car. He wanted me to try it out so he let me drive. We started to drive away from the curb when I finally asked."So, you must have met someone, Huh? You going to tell me who she is?" Clifton just grinned and pointed his finger at the windshield. "Make a right turn here at the next light. There's a little bar on the left with a red roof. Just pull around into the parking lot and we'll have a cold one."I looked at my watch. "Jennifer is expecting me home by six-thirty for dinner." No worries man. I told Jennifer this afternoon we might stop for a beer or two so she already knows your going to be late." OK, thanks for telling me!"We sat at the bar drinking a couple cold sods watching billiards on a wide screen television when I finally asked Clifton. "Are you going to tell me about this woman you plan.
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