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He hadn't lied to her. Ellie couldn't believe how beautiful the view was. The waterfall, while not anywhere near the size of Niagara Falls, was a joy to behold, and the lake it poured into was certainly inviting enough.Jarad opened the trunk and produced a picnic basket with ham and cheese sandwiches, some peanuts and a bottle of wine. He carried them to a grassy slope a few yards from the shoreline of the lake. There was no sign of anyone else."We've got the place to ourselves," he said, a wide smile on his face."That's the best way, isn't it?" I guess," he replied not wanting to alarm her.Chidingly, Ellie said, "Bet you forgot the bottle opener." Hah!" he said, and reaching under a napkin, he took out a corkscrew and began opening the chilled bottle of white wine."Are you old enough to drink alcohol?" he asked, teasing her in turn."Sure," she said brightly, and he knew immediately that she was underage.They ate and drank, making almost idle conversation, then Jarad sighed, and said;. So I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and said “These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?” “The produce guy looked at me and said “No. You’ll have to do that yourself”.Dave had just returned from his honeymoon and was settling down in their new apartment. Coming home from work one night, the landlady met Dave in the hallway. She said “I have a couple of extra tickets to a play in town tonight, and I wonder if you and your new bride would like to have them?” “I’ll ask her” Dave responded. He opened the door to his apartment and called out “Honey, would you like to see ‘Oliver Twist’ tonight?” “No way!” his bride retorted. “If you show me one more trick with that thing, I’m going home to my mother!”Donald Trump was looking for a call girl. He found three such girls in a local pub, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. To the blonde he said “I am the President of the United States. Now how much would it cost me to spend some time with.
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