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I still had no answer. He asked once more. I told him I supposed I needed to look up the clinic’s info and call. He seemed relieved. I think he went home after that. He rarely stayed the night as it raised too many questions with the folks. I cried. I thought about taking another test since this one might be wrong. I realized that was stupid. I’d already looked up as much as I could online about the early symptoms of pregnancy and I had them all. Every. Single. One. The test wasn’t wrong- I just didn’t want to accept it. I cried more. And then I started thinking. I’d long said that should I ever find myself in such a situation that I would hasten to an abortion clinic ASAP. Ah, the clarity of one who has never been there… the not-quite innocent but still completely inexperienced, unaware, and unprepared. I knew adoption was out of the question- there was no way I could carry a baby for nine months, go through childbirth, and then give it away. Not that I thought that was ever an. “I don’t know what to say. Melissa, I want you to like me. I want to get to know you as a person. Sunday night was the best, most meaningful sex I’ve ever had in my life. Despite that and also because of that, I want to know who the person Melissa is. I think you can be vitally important to me if we give it a chance.”As Paul spoke, Melissa’s eyes got wider and her face had a surprised look that grew to amazement. She said, “Paul, I’ve never wanted more than a casual relationship with good sex before. How are we going to do more? Under what circumstances?”Paul said, “I guess the first question to ask is whether we want to try for more of a relationship than just friends with benefits? I would like that and hope you do.”She said, “I want more. Sunday evening was the best I ever had, too. It wasn’t because of the physical part but because we were in touch emotionally. If we didn’t want more than just the physical part, we would be in your room or mine screwing our brains into mush right.
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