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I had, in a way, alway enjoyed the act of peeing, but now, with the added, embarrassing intensity, it felt deeply sexual. My skin tingled with shame, but my pee flowed and flowed, splashing noisily into the bowl. I wanted to die on the spot, but -- the realization sent goosebumps up my back and made me dizzy -- I also wanted to reach between my legs and stroke my pussy, and for a fraction of a second, my hand twitched. What was happening to me? It didn’t seem to stop. The hissing kept going on and on. For a wicked moment, I wondered if the bowl would overflow and spill my pee on the floor. My cheeks burned like mad, and Marietta watched me with a raised eyebrow and a knowing grin. Then, finally, the last few spurts shot into the bowl, and the silence in the office was all-encompassing. I almost forgot to breathe. Then I realized my oversight. “Uhm,” I stammered, face burning, my voice barely above a whisper, “could I… have a tissue?” My pleading look didn’t faze Marietta in the. . and the slight sweetness of that feeling was now forever lost. The Fates had played the cruelest of possible tricks upon me and I was now furious with the entire world! I'd been robbed and cheated in the worst and most spiteful sort of way and I wanted everyone around me to pay and suffer the way that I now suffered. And as for my own guilt, it just grew and ate away at me like the worst possible ulcer.I don't know for sure how exactly the word of our private little mission of revenge made it outside our remote backwater and slowly all the way up the chain of command, but it eventually did. The Army had a brand-new 'My Lai massacre', but at least this time the cover-up was conducted a bit more privately and no official word of what we'd done was ever put down on paper, or at least without being heavily classified.If I'd had to guess, I'd put the blame for this on Lt. Strauss, although I didn't fault the poor broken man very much. Even after our return to camp he never quite snapped.
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