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They were the first guys to give me the confidence I needed. For these boys I was the sexiest girl. I liked that, it excited me. I liked the way they looked at me, I liked those perverse thoughts they had about me. I wanted to be touched and kissed, I liked those moments when I lost my self-control and let myself be carried away by emotions that I thought could never exist. I realized from then on what I was ... a little whore obsessed with erotic experiences. Then, as I grew older, I quickly realized the mental changes I was experiencing. I could say that there was a great confrontation inside me, the little girl in me was conquering redoubt after redoubt (if I could say that) killing the man who lived in my mind. From the age of 16-17 I started to think of everything as a girl, I had a lot of girl friends with whom we talked about women's things, we talked about clothes, about fashion, about makeup, about what we like or don't like about a boy in general or about a certain boy at. ”“Just wait until you hit algebra kiddo. So what did you see in my room when you looked in?”“Oh, you did see me. Well, I saw you and Danny asleep, and close. Not mad are you?”“No, I’m not mad at all. Just hoping you’d keep that little bit between the two of us. Mom doesn’t need to know, we were just tired from setting up my streaming area and just happened to fall asleep.”“Of course sis, I won’t tell mom.” He said as he fired up a game.I went back up stairs and back into bed. Danny was still asleep so I snuggled back against him once more and let his arm drape over me. I wonder if there is a future for us together in the here and now. We may be physically and to the world 13, but mentally we are both 43.I awoke with Danny’s arm around me still and the voice of my mom, but she wasn’t talking, I could sense her at the door but I pretended to stay asleep. she was thinking all of this and it was loud and clear. I’ll have to learn how to tune out people. And boy does mom not know her.
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