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And nothing feels comfortable, cause I'm scared I'll say somethingstupid. I think I sound like a dork. Always trying so hard to be cool,and I come across like I'm a dork. God, what am I doing? I went back to the mall. I thought maybe that guy might be there.He wasn't. But other guys were. For the same reason the first guy was.At first, I didn't do anything more than I did the first time. Just feelthem up. But I can't believe I kept going further than that. At first, Icouldn't stand to feel their cum on my hand. But I got used to it. Then Ilet one of them jerk me off. I had done that with friends when I was ak**, but it never felt this way, never felt so fuckin hot, never felt likeI was going to go through the ceiling. This was good. My cock would gethuge and hard, and spray like crazy. I even let a guy suck me. Thatdidn't bother me too bad. What scares me is that I wish I had the nerve tosuck them. I like the thought. It's such a fag thing to do. God, what. And that’s not the issue at all in this case. It’s whether or not it’s a good idea. I think the issue in my mind is that if it developed naturally, after a few months at the Rap Session, that would be different. Which is another reason I wanted to put off the ‘sex talk’ until a couple of months down the road.“In this case, the issue is Mattie setting it up. I know I agreed to Claire’s request with Mattie, and it was a lot of fun, and I enjoyed myself with her, AND with Becka. But what I keep coming back to in my mind is the situation with Melanie and Jennifer in High School. I get that Mattie wanted to talk to her friends about her experience, but those flashbacks to High School bug me.”“Did you tell Mattie not to do it?”“No,” I replied. “And I didn’t tell Claire or Becka not to do it, either. Which was probably my mistake. Or, maybe,” I chuckled, “I didn’t WANT to tell them not to!”“Now THAT is the Snuggle Bear I know and love!” Kara said with a soft laugh. “And honestly, do you.
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