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Please leave a message after the Beep. If I do not return your call, You are one of the changes.” Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.He shoots his friend and kills him.Wife says “If you continue to behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends!” My wife and I had words,But I didn’t get to use mine. Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses. The irony of life is that, by the time You’re old enough to know your way around, you’re not going anywhere. I was always taught to respect my elders,But it keeps getting harder to find one. What’s the difference between stress, tension and panic?Stress is when your wife is pregnant,Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,and Panic is when both are pregnant. Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?*Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our gardener ran away.(*Period: As in a full stop) A woman asks a man. I decided to strike while the iron was hot and emailed her that afternoon. we chatted some...seeing as she didn't look much older than 18 i asked her her age...19. i asked her if she was sure she wanted to hang out, if she knew what she would be singing up for if we did and she said yes. so i told her to meet me in the parking lot of the same library 10am the next day and she did just that. i had never cheated on my wife before. had never cheated on any partner before. i knew that i did not want to bring her to my place, did not want her to know where i lived. and i was not about to cough up a bunch of bucks for an hour at the Its Just Sex Motel. so i went and scoped out a spot in a park near a lake. a nice and quiet part of the park and a bit off the trail. i found a patch of open space in a thicket of bushes. and this is where i brought her. it was just a 5 or so minute walk from the car to the parking lot. she talked constantly, "blah blah blah, where are you taking me? blah blah.
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