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Showing her the outfit. "Mommy," I asked tentatively, "can I wear thistoday to school?" What do you think?" my mother said doubtfully."Mommy, Melissa wears pants all the time," I said referring to my bestfriend."I don't care what Melissa's mother allows her to wear, you will eitherwear a skirt with that top, or just a dress."Cowed, I trudged back to my room. Melissa wasn't the only girl whowould be in pants in my class. Virtually every girl would be wearingpants, some even wore jeans. "I'm in middle school now, I shouldn'thave my mother picking out what I wear," I sulked.I was determined to scowl all the way to school. I wouldn't give intomy mother one bit; not today anyway.My mother took my hand and she walked me to school. My two year oldlittle brother was brought along on this trip in his stroller.-----------------------------------------Some say "It was a warning!"Some say "It was a sign!"I was standing right there. When it came down from the sky.The way it spoke to us. . . why did you try to kill yourself?”“I thought you read the note.”“I want to hear it from you,” she whispered desperately.I sat down on the edge of the tub and was silent for several moments. “There are people all over the world who suffer worse than I do: infants dying of starvation, kids used as sex slaves, adults forced to watch as their families suffer with nothing over their heads but the roof of their hut. I admit, even my life could be far worse than it is now, but there is a key difference between those people and me: they are capable of being happy. They have the will to live and the ability to smile. Me ... there is nothing in this world that can bring me joy, I am physically incapable of being happy.For most of my life, I have not known what happiness feels like. Even as a child, I could never bond with others and I always felt out of place in the world, like I was incompatible with this reality. My real depression began eight years ago, when I was constantly teased and.
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