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How’s that going to work? No-one I might start a relationship will be in the same position, like they might, just, have been when I was nineteen or twenty. And I won’t know what I’m doing. Well, I’d know what I was doing, I’m not a complete ingénue,’ she stumbled on, gesturing at her legs, ‘and I understand the mechanics, but how would these work?’ She sighed. ‘Why are you telling me this?’ I asked, gently. ‘I’ve never wanted to poke my nose in, and you seemed—well—I suppose ‘resigned’, now I think about it, to being single. Have you thought of playing a long game, and trying to build on a longer-standing friendship.’ I realised what I was saying, and laughed at myself. ‘I’m not trying to sell myself here, you understand, if you were going to hit on me, I think you’d have done it long before now.’ Alarmingly, Natalie blushed deeper, rather than laughing. ‘That’s just it, Matt. I’m not trying to hit on you: but I do want to ask your help. I’m not asking for a relationship, as it were,. They were virile guys. They weren’t getting it from others because of the tension of being on the road and playing all of those games. The only down time was at night. Dad needed it; Jack gave it. That’s not the way I had seen it. Dad did what Dad wanted to do because he wanted to do it. And if it hadn’t been with Jack, it would have been with someone else.I needed it now. I wanted Jack to give it to me.I could see that and Mom couldn’t see any of this, and she and I fought so much over that point that I guess it was easy for her to leave me with Dad and Jack when she packed up and left the state. We still talked occasionally, but not much at all in the last two years. When Dad had been killed in that freak busted play on the football field in Memphis and Mom had called and told me she was sending a ticket for me back to Tallahassee and I told her I wanted to stay with Jack—and why I wanted to stay with Jack—she hung up on me and hasn’t spoken to me since. All there were were.
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