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Looking at the dedication page, there was a handwritten note."For my dearest Connie, please accept this unexpurgated text as a token of my affection and appreciation for the time we shared. David"I studied Lady Chatterley at school and could probably have turned unerringly to the consummation scene, although I didn't have to; this volume was so well-thumbed that the book simply fell open at the correct page. I found those old, familiar words so easily:"Then with a quiver of exquisite pleasure he touched the warm soft body, and touched her navel for a moment in a kiss."I knew the next line by heart; it should be "And he had to come in to her at once, to enter the peace on earth of her soft, quiescent body." It had always struck me as strange that without even a paragraph break, he went from kissing her naval (which of course maybe wasn't her navel at all) to fucking her, even though the fucking itself lasted a mere sentence; his only excuse for not giving her a proper tonguing was. "Give it some time. Go get some counseling. But most of all, while you're giving it some thought, think of all the benefits. You won't have to search in vain for clothing your size. You'll be able to exercise better, which'll give you more energy in your life. You won't even have a tenth of the hygiene problems you used to have. And with the new laser scalpels the surgeon uses nowadays, you'll barely notice the scars after a few weeks. Instead of mentioning Jolene by herself, I should've also included me." (This really got my attention. I had no idea Samantha underwent breast reduction surgery.) "I used to be a 38G, believe it or not!" But what about the men out here in L.A. who love full-figured, massive-breasted women," I asked, making it my last question on the matter. "Wouldn't we be depriving them of our natural beauty?" And what about those men" was Samantha's sharp, unsympathetic reply. "Does any one of those pathetic, whining losers have to deal with several dozen back-aching.
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