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Phoenix dropped to her knees beside the grave, her eyes unfocussed. Slowly, with deep breaths, she came back to reality. Her eyes focused on the headstone, and she choked back a sob. There, beneath the dates… ‘To the moon and back Sunshine.’ She sat there staring, trembling, until she heard footsteps approach behind her. A familiar voice came to her from a few feet away. ‘That was his last request, right before he died…’ the voice trembled, filled with pain, ‘he made mom promise.’ Phoenix stood, and when she turned she was looking into Kate’s tear filled eyes. She made a small choked sound, and threw herself into Kate’s arms. ‘Why?’ she whimpered, ‘Why did we have to lose him?’ Kate held her close as they both cried. When they had calmed down some Kate led Phoenix to a small bench encircling a nearby tree and waited. ‘How did you know I was here?’ Phoenix finally whispered. Kate smiled sadly. ‘Your mother called me. She was worried about you. I don’t think she knows what to say to. A nun is expected to live her life inwardly in communion with the Holy Spirit. Ostensibly this was so with all of us but none knows the depths of the human soul and where it seeks its real communion. As for me, I brooded over my Cordelia and all my prayers were for her. I fasted, I prayed, I listened to the Scriptures, I chanted. But pious at heart I was not. Under my coarse habit I felt my warm body glow, desiring more life, more pleasure, not less. Most of the sisters were and are, dull nondescript devout types. Types whose personalities disappear beneath their habits. They are the real nuns and are necessary for an order like ours which deviates from the norm somewhat. The real leaders consist of a small coterie. Our leader, abbess Clarissa, a tall voluptuous redhead of a fierce and proud demeanor. Square-jawed and forceful, almost masculine in her beauty. Sister Genevieve, her right hand, the first Negress I had ever known or seen. From Sierra Leone, she was mistress to a.
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