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I could bear this tension no longer. I put down the hymn and told my daughters I would be back momentarily, that I needed to use the restroom.I walked toward the restroom with a choking lump in my throat and my face red with shame; I knew he would not treat me like a lover. He would not be gentle or sweet. He had always been clear that he would treat me like a whoring bitch, and give me “a hardcore fucking!”I walked to the back of the sanctuary and waited behind the baptismal pool in the hallway that led to the restrooms. Mr. Cazares appeared behind me moments later. I had such butterflies! All my senses were roiling and my whole body was in the turmoil brought on by my raging lust and the knowledge that the moment of my surrender was at hand.He took my hand and led me past the restrooms and into the utility closet. He pushed aside the mops, brooms and mop bucket. He embraced me in the darkness that enveloped us when he shut the door.He had one hand on my behind, squeezing my coffee. " this is after he has pulled me into his lap.I wrap my arms around his waist and chuckle. "I would if I could but being that I am one of a kind I have much to live up too." I say dryly in to his neck."You take too much on Miss One of a Kind" He says as he nibble s up to my ear. With a little nip on my lobe he stops and makes he way across my neck to the other side. I give a little shiver of pleasure as his lips make contact with my ear."Well then you had better make sure that I not feeling pressured by my singularity." I giggle some more, very much enjoying this playful side of Saul."I see," Saul sigh's. "don't want to talk about it." but he hugs me tighter to his chest.I feel warmth and love flowing out of him. Even if he is disappointed that I wont talk about my fears he will at least try to sooth them. I hug him tighter still."There are many things I can not begin to say, to myself much less to you Saul." I say softly into his chest. "this is a help, though, but I can think of.
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