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With one woman. A neighbor back in the Argentine. Guilt got to him, he confessed to me. Begged forgiveness. I got past it. Mostly.”I could see her digging deep, mentally. She said, “Who am I to judge? I’ve been tempted. What woman hasn’t?”I smiled, “Saints.”Eva scoffed, “I’m certainly no saint. Three different men. I almost slept with one of them. Almost.”She breathed deeply, gathering her thoughts. “Then the blues hit me. Dark blues. Blackness. Never felt anything like it in my life. It was like a cancer on my soul.”I waited.“Freddie. Dr. Schultz. Dr. Fredrick Schultz insisted I call him Freddie. What did I know? I’d never been to a psychiatrist before.”Eva shook her head, “I’m not naive. I’ve read the literature. Patients, women, fall in love with their shrinks. I can relate to that. Understand it intellectually. Well, that didn’t happen to me.”She was gazing out my large Genessee Street windows. I was backlit by the sunshine, but she wasn’t seeing me. She was talking softly, but. "Evil, evil-- " I halted in front of the room that she and my aunt were staying in.I thought a moment, torn.Now look: I wouldn't do anything like this to any other person in the world except my cousin -- my cousin that had sprinkled some of that German itching powder in my pants when I was ten; my cousin that had spread Ben-Gay inside my jock strap just before a track meet when I was fifteen; my cousin that told me she would let me feel her breasts if I stripped and showed her my thingie last year, but ran off with my clothes before doing her half of the deal, leaving me to sneak up two flights of stairs naked.My cousin that just stole the towel I was using to hide my erection.Stepping into the room they were using, I fished in my cousin's suitcase until I came up with a bra -- a pretty turquoise silk and lace thing.Then I slid my swimtrunks to my ankles. I would leave a little deposit in one of her cups. Wrapping the bra cup around Mr Stiffie, I started stroking. Getting into it.
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