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"I tried my damnedest to use the same kind of arty-farty language Arthur appeared to be so adept at. The cultured way Arthur used words must have been what attracted those females to him. It certainly wasn't his looks. But then again, maybe Arthur carried something around in his trousers that most of us other mere mortals don't have. You can never tell with geeks, you know. Well most guys can't anyway; god alone knows what kind of x-ray vision or radar women have that lets them tell the difference between a rolled up sock and human flesh."Do you paint yourself?" Elvira asked."No, I have to admit that I've never really tried. Well, I buggered about in the art class at school, but I can't say that I was any good with a paintbrush. Don't do a bad job with the old roller on the house walls though."I grinned back at her, then immediately wished I hadn't tried to be funny."Art classes at school rarely inspire anyone... ?" Jerry." Yes, Jerry, I'm sorry; you're Arthur's friend, aren't you.. As I walked across the parking lot my long legs drew a few lusty stares,and I knew that by wearing something with a high hemline, I only addedto the picture I wanted everyone to see when they looked at me. I wasdoing fine for almost an hour, then, to my great horror, I saw themcoming at me, walking right down the concourse, six abreast, two deep.Almost the entire group that ruled the school was there, and therewasn't anyplace for me to go. I drew in a very deep breath and keptright on walking, starting to swerve around them, when, just as I haspassed them, I heard a voice."Holy shit! That's Jeff!" What!? Where?" I heard someone else say, then..."There! The girl in the red dress! That's Jeff! I'll bet on it!"Then I was surrounded by all of them. I felt like a bug under amicroscope as all of them stared at me, until Jim finally agreed that itwas me, Jeff, and I was wearing a dress, and, I was out in public thatway, all without any really good excuse. All of the guys stood staringat me.
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