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She failed, of course, most spectacularly in the most blatant case, the famous episode of the five pence piece. Tell me, Mrs. Ransome, do you know how much I actually gave to the fund for the roof?”“No,” said Jennifer after a moment’s hesitation, still not quite believing that she was now Mrs. Ransome, “There are rumours of course, anything from a hundred thousand to a million pounds or more. The roof didn’t cost a million did it? Daddy said that it would have cost several tens of thousands just to patch it, let alone replace it, but he said it was probably just a few hundreds of thousands, nowhere near a million.”“In the immortal words of a bard of Stratford-upon-Avon, ‘You don’t need to worry your pretty little head about that’. I think that particular bard’s name was Fred. But to return to the uninvited guest, I think we should refer to her as ‘The Unmentionable One’. And the guard, sorry, waiter on the door was told about her, and she will be the only one who is allowed in. You want Raisinettes, you get them. What else can I do for you, hmmmm?’ ‘Mmmmm,’ you grin, turning back to the screen. ‘Let me think about that.’ You hug my arm tighter, taking a bit more popcorn as the trailers come up. (‘Green Lantern, FUCK YES,’ I cheer softly. You roll your eyes.) As the movie progresses, the charms of Orlando Bloom (‘Legolas,’ you correct me) are, in my view, not enough to save the formulaic rom-com script, though being next to you is always nice. Your fingers are tracing up and down my arm, the light touches of your fingernails sending pleasant little jolts to the pleasure centers of my brain. My own fingers stroke your thigh left bare by the shorts you’re wearing. Not long after Boy Loses Girl you excuse yourself, slipping away to the restroom, and I wonder if the fifteen or so other patrons are as disillusioned with the flick as I am, though I’ll hold my tongue for your sake. Darlin’ wants movie night, darlin’ gets movie night. A few minutes later, as Boy.
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