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Murphy must have known Carl personally, because everything seemed to happen to him.He was one of the un-loveable. He often turned on those who gave the most of themselves to his welfare. Sometimes his rants would lead to fits of uncontrollable tears, wild gyrations and chaotic outbursts.Carl was ... unusual. His black coat matched his hair and shoes. Carl always wore a black toupee. Diner patrons referred to Carl’s toupee as, “Hair by Monsanto.” Others mumbled that Carl’s hair had more petroleum than most oil cans.Carl thought his black shoes rendered him invisible. Invisible meant safe and Carl lived for safety. The owner of a serious case of agoraphobia, Carl rarely ventured out and when he did, it was almost always to a place he felt safe.Last Chance was one place Carl felt he could cope. The people had far better targets than his overweight, bald and grotesquely out of shape body. His coke bottle lens glasses and rumpled clothing gave him a high school, nerdy kind of look. The. Some of these words are his. Several days after he died, I was writing to a close personal -- real life -- friend. I put ten words together at the top of my message. Then I cried for a long time. It was cathartic. So I shared those words with a few electronic friends; people I'd been close to since the bulletin boards shut down, and everybody migrated to the World Wide Web. Once I did that, I decided to share my thoughts with the rest of you. I wrote:StanHe diedI wasn't readyI know he wasOnce I laid that grief on you, I felt better. You've been most gracious in your comments, both public and private, but now I'm embarrassed to have taken up so much bandwidth on an off-topic message.This is a message of great joy, and a message of extreme sadness. I'm sad for a life cut far too short, and I'm eternally grateful to have had my best friend in my life for almost 36 years. I've waited a while before posting this, because I wasn't up to it when it happened. I haven't been around here as.
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