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” She said in that amazing, smokey voice of hers. “I never told you this, but ... What daddy and Marius did to me...” As soon as she said his name, a red haze began to descend on my mind. A rage like I had only rarely experienced began to build up within my chest. I took a long, deep breath to calm the fire raging inside of me as I continued to listen. “They hurt me Mason. In ways I didn’t even understand...” I could hear, and feel the pain in her voice. I wanted to lash out. Destroy something. Anything. I wanted the world to know the pain this amazing woman had endured.I was trembling in barely contained fury. I had a woman who could see past my scars. And see through the Monster, to the core of me. Most importantly, I had finally accepted, that despite everything I had ever done, that I was still capable of love. Capable of BEING loved. And yet I had never bothered to ask about HER scars. And underneath all that rage, I finally felt something that I had never thought myself capable. They had kept payments on her rent so she would lose nothing, and she had no family and the friends she had were not very committal, so her absence was not exactly noticed. She sat on her bed for what seemed like an eternity, the experiences of her recent past feeling like and extremely vivid dream, images of violent forced sex and afternoons spent with her doctor laying in bed talking flashing into her mind. She looked around her room, at her drawings, her clothes, her books. Her life. It seemed so inconsequential compared to everything that had happened. 92 noticed again the clothes she was wearing. The time she spent with the project had been done mostly in the nude, as was her time with her doctor in his home. Clothes seemed so unnatural now, and in frustration she removed them. She looked down at her body, retracing in her mind the touch of the other patients, the other doctors, and her doctor. She closed her eyes and revisited in her mind the first time she had given into her.
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