Visions of the many captions I earlier created before this all began,... are providing the push I so need. Certainly this was something I never dreamt I'd be thinking about or even considering. Perhaps my own captions have captivated me to the point where I must at least,... explore his weaknesses,... as well as my own. Knowing the first 'test' had been conducted, and with favorable results,... I decided to pursue it further,... but in small increments,... to protect him from unwanted advances as well. I want to continue, but at his expected pace,... and not my own. I knew I was bathing in the tub,.... but I was soaked* It seems as I exited the bathroom, I was already calculating my next move. I can't describe in words,.... what a mother feels at that point... truly. As I toweled off a sense of guilt swept thru my soul, but surrendered to a battalion of desire. I looked at myself in the mirror with a devilish smile as the returning flood of arousal swept whatever doubts I. You take care of all of us without any thought of asking for anything in return. I know that you’ll be the same with your children. I only wish that this little girl were yours so that she would know the safety of being protected by you, so that she’d know what it’s like to be loved by someone so completely. I love you, Matt.Beyond that though, I wish this baby were yours because then she would have been made with love and I’d know what it was like to be touched by someone that cares for me as much as you care for everyone around you. I was a virgin when I went to that party. I wasn’t on birth control because I didn’t intend to have sex. I didn’t think about sex a lot. I do now. I think about sex all the time and it’s always you that I think about. When I have those thoughts, sex seems beautiful and pure and right, not like the memories I have. If I could go back and talk to myself when I was getting ready for that party, I’d tell myself to go to you instead. I’d want you to be my.
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