“That’s £24,000 now Darren.” I said, slowly drawing out the numbers. “Now tell me, how much do you earn a year?”“£18,000.” Came the answer, so quietly I could hardly hear.“So what you’re telling me is that I own you. Well, this is interesting. This means you’re in a bit of trouble, doesn’t it mate?”He looked at the big man sat next to him in the back of the car and gulped.“Yes Darren, you are mine. So, you wanted to win something to buy your girl something nice for her birthday? Well, here’s what I have got in mind....”Darren wasn’t at poker the next two Fridays, but he put in an appearance on the first Friday of the month. He didn’t play; he just came in, whispered something in my ear, and left without making eye contact with anyone.The next night saw me and Rob, the guy who my father had basically looking after me, sat in a darkened car opposite Darren’s house. At about 11pm, right on time, a taxi pulled up outside the house, and deposited Darren and Katy at the kerb. They were. In my experience, the trouble is rarely sex; it’s intimacy. Men - and I know it’s a stereotype, but it’s true - often use sex as the easiest way of getting intimacy, but there are so many more ways it can be achieved.”“Like what?”“Well, just off the top of my head - massage. You could massage your wife’s feet, or her back. I’ve never met a pregnant person who doesn’t like that. And if she’s feeling up to it, she could do the same for you.”“Can you show us?”“Of course,” the short woman smiled. “I have an entire cabinet for exactly this...”Over the next few minutes, the doula unpacked her collection of oils and perfumes, and spoke gently about the hidden benefits of massage. The man watched her intently as she did.“Do you have any questions?” she asked.“Oh.” the man said, and the doula felt as though she’d let him down. “That’s it?”“Well...”“I thought you were going to show me.”“Of course,” she said. “Give me your hands, and I’ll walk you through the...”“No,” he interrupted. “I thought.
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