’”Tommy Lasorda, Los Angeles Dodgers manager: “I found out that it’s not good to talk about my troubles. Eighty percent of the people who hear them don’t care and the other twenty percent are glad I’m having them.”E.J. Holub, Kansas City Chiefs linebacker regarding his twelve knee operations: “My knees look like they lost a knife fight with a midget.”Vic Braden, tennis instructor: “My theory is that if you buy an ice cream cone and make it hit your mouth, you can learn to play tennis. If you stick it on your forehead, your chances aren’t as good.”Walt Garrison, Dallas Cowboys fullback when asked if Tom Landry ever smiles: “I don’t know. I only played there for nine years.”John Breen, Houston Oilers: “We were tipping off our plays. Whenever we broke from the huddle, three backs were laughing and one was pale as a ghost.”Bum Phillips, New Orleans Saints, after viewing a lopsided loss to the Atlanta Falcons: “The film looks suspiciously like the game itself.”Al Hrabosky, major league. She didn’t seem to mind either, in fact she seemed to be pushing hard against it. She whispered in my ear, ‘Do you want to make love to me?’ She had to be joking. I don’t think I ever wanted anything as much, but ‘Yes, of course I do,’ was all I could get out. She kissed me on the cheek and said, ‘Pour us both a glass of wine and meet me in the bedroom.’ With that she left me standing in the kitchen, my erection more erect than I ever remembered. I hurried to follow her instructions and made my way toward the bedroom within a minute or two, a glass of wine in each hand. By the time I got there she had turned most of the lights down and changed into a caftan style nightgown. The dim light, the magic of her bedroom and the heady fragrance of her perfume all combined to make the entire setting dreamily erotic. She took both glasses of wine, put them on the nightstand along side the bed and came to me, her forearms against my chest. The sensual feeling of her body, obviously nude, under.
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