Why do I want nothing more than to be yours? My body aching, just wanting to feel your love. My teeth stay smashed into my lip, trying to stay quiet, so as to not make you mad, just wanting to please you, day in and day out, but getting nothing in return. Your hand on my head, my eyes shooting their glance to you while soft purrs fill my throat, eyes glancing between lips and eyes, making me blush and bite my lip in embarrassment. Why can't I be myself around you? Why do I feel so imperfect? My body lays motionless, so as not to wake you. My body pressed to yours, slow shivers course down my body, trying to contain myself, trying to hold moans back. The very feel of your body on mine making pleasure rush through my veins. I try to drift off to sleep, but my mind rushes with possibilities, making me wonder. My hands on your hips as I gaze into your cold grey eyes, my blue eyes nervous yet excited, not knowing what to expect or what to hear. My lips slowly slinking into a smile as I. I received a chaste kiss as thank you, and we went our separate ways.During my journey home, I replayed the evening. My date, and that still sounded odd to me, had arrived a few minutes late, dressed very demurely in a simple black skirt and white blouse. We talked initially about the previous week and all its oddities, often repeating, almost exactly, parts of our Saturday's conversation. As we relaxed, something helped by our attentive hosts, we discussed common acquaintances, which were exclusively work colleagues, before eventually talking about each other, our fears and desires. Looking back I also wonder at Olivia, she had either incredible hearing or impeccable timing, as she never seemed to arrive at an inopportune moment.A major desire of my own was exposed during that evening's conversation. As I had not been interested in women since my wife's death, I had given little thought to what I wanted out of any future relationship; it, therefore, took a while for me to explain.
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